Many people find that their greatest joys and their deepest sorrows come from their intimate relationships. People go into relationships with high hopes and the wish for a long lasting, happy relationship and they often struggle to understand what has gone wrong when the reality becomes very different. Maybe you are at a crisis point in your relationship, issues like a betrayal of trust, an inability to communicate and a relentless game of blaming and defending can all lead to breakdown of relationship. Or maybe it has just become increasingly clear that neither of you are very happy and you think there should be more to life than what you have at present.
It is often tempting to throw in the towel and imagine that life will be better on your own, or that you will find a new relationship that will bring you happiness. However the pain and disruption caused by relationship breakdown is vast and there is no guarantee that the future will be better.
Couples counselling can help you to repair, rebuild and to enjoy your relationship again. As we grow up we are not normally taught how relationships work. It is expected that you will know what to do but actually being in a relationship is not simple but rather very complex and becoming more so in today's world.
As a couples therapist I can help you to improve your relationship. I will provide a safe, supportive space where I remain neutral and help you both to understand what is happening when things go so wrong. As an integrative therapist I use a number of strategies to help you see where patterns of behaviour come from, and then to address those patterns so that changes can be made.
Things we would work on may include:
Learning how to communicate in a more effective, cooperative way.
Understanding why your difficult feelings are so strong and where they originate from.
Learning how to better support each other.
Both partners taking responsibility for themselves within the relationship.
Re-connecting with what brought you together in the beginning.
Learning different ways to manage the stress within your relationship
Sessions for couples counselling from my Hertfordshire practice are 55 -80 minutes and cost £70-£100 per session (depending on length of session). Sessions from my London practice last 50 minutes and cost £80. If you have any questions please contact me for more information.